This post is a repost over here,I mean in this blog,consideringthe fact that these days I am putting more of my concentrates intuitive moves to make my blog a more productive one.Previously I could see few unfortunate loopholes which could have stood upright to make it a success.Moreover,I admit of not being able to get all the pages going in the right manner I had planned it to run.And so,this endeavour of mine is completely aimed tomake things more compact,productive,user-friendly,not to say attractive.
Few things and thoughts dat make my days here in these fateful days:
Being always away from home,it does not feel now much special to stay away from parents and all in bloodlines here.basically m being out frm house since I was ten.a new kiddo on block.ofthe new world.of a new perspective to look at the unknowns.to the never-seens.to the unknowns.but still life accepted me.accepted me the way I am.the spectacled fool who looks away all the time rather than focusing on what is needed to do to lead a hassle-free life.maybe from there on the new kiddo is such different—in line of thoughts,in line on life’s views.and that is what always had put him into utmost competetions,a “game” to the fateful.
So these days now away frm home seems rather sweet to me than being saddy.sweet in the aspect that it reflects to myself my own self.my power to decise.my power to see life thru a faded-glass.my power to wake myself up when not needed and not to wake myself up when needed(like am down with fever now 6 days before my second semesters.blog fever).so when I look to life from my point of view I get to get that all I have accomplished till date(if any) is nothing but by “mistake”,coz I dint ever take any crash courses in some reputed institutions on life’s what-to-do-and-what-not-to.
Now that m here I feel proud in one way and rather more sad in the other.proud coz I have survived this “battle of existence”,and sad coz it cost me too many things.more than everything it cost me my emotions.
frankly speaking Kolkata is where my heart lies always.its my dreamtown.my hometown.where I have left down my growing years as a stupid nerd.i miss kolkata’s typical bengalee flavor.of mithais,of typical Bengali thorasa-sick-thorasa-boring-yet-wonderful hearty people,of the entertainment factors the city has always in its sleeve,and moreover the comfort level that the city gives me just even hearing its name(although not in summers)…..
I miss kolkata badly.
Now that am in a different city,comparison has never been my forte of thought.because I know that no other city can ever come as closer to my heart as Kolkata has managed to,despite all her bedazzling bedlams.in whatever way it may be.
I love siliguri in a way of its own.rather in a way of my own.i love siliguri for its integrity of various cultures like I have never seen before.i like siliguri for its exposure to some out-of-the-bag thought processes,for the exposure it enjoys on a larger scale,maybe in an international level,maybe as an opening to tourist spots,as business hubs,as the place of conglomeration of different aspects of cultural heritages.
Often I love myself to be more into this city than kol.
Now that was a mere(??) contradiction that I arose myself.but if its contradictory(which it is) then am happy.that I contain multitudes!!
Time and space dimension to talk about some specific creatures called “friends”.ya,it’s a gift.not a bday gift that u would like to think that somebody enough crazy to give me.its a gift of the god.to “gab” and gabble about “gad”ly.
Myself being always away from the vector-space called “home”,friends are everything to this lill brainbox.they r the guides in tyms of dexterity,philosophers in need(but often too boring.i mean this “philosophy”),helpers in tym of crisis,and sharers in tym of burst-outs.this is one side of the coin.these creatures can also turn voracious eaters in tyms of “my” hunger,humble humans when screwed-up and serious sickistic blabbers infront of your prestige isssues.jokes apart.
I consider friends something deserving to keep the whole life for.i have shared more of my seconds on this earth with these creatures than my parents.and so in turn they just all have some special places in the larger vein of my left ventricle.
But I don’t like to show how much I feel for them.how much I care for these lill things.maybe dats why I suffer more.but they will get to know me in needs.that’s assured.
[disclaimer:if any one decides to proceed through the following crap-ways even after reading the topic of this part,then its entirely upto his/her personal responsibility.the writer will not be responsible to give hospital charges.
Or maybe tickets to ranchi.
Not for the reader of course.in case he/she realizes the need to take the writer in any of the two above.]
Topic of discussion:exams and study.
Definitely this topic requires a disclaimer like given above.maybe for its own need.besides disclaimers are also into vogue(by Ekta aunty).
Before proceeding anymore,I should make u known,that my semesters are already in reah,as close as within 6 days.and look at me.am blabbering all morning to entertain you people.
Actually studies..a thing to think about..on a serious scale.serious enough to give it a serious thought.
That I muuuuuusst study nowwwwwwwwww.coz next week I have got my sem starting.
“So you are telling me that you are off for your studies?
You mean studies kind of studies or just “I’m on break” kind of studies?
Are you sure you know the difference between “I’m having exams” and “I’m getting married”?
By studies do you mean ‘Research on why Pamela Anderson removed her implants?’”
Maybe this type of study will not help my causes anymore.atleast at his moment.of intense pressure of performance.i had been a goody goody bloke on the bloke from my childhood,being brought up by decent parents and having a background of excellent schooling.so expectations has always chased me from every blocks of life.and the pressure increases when I realize myself that in all these times of expectations I have overdone it and done something greater.greater would be a proud word to use.maybe better would serve it right here.and better.
Something happened last time that I had no control on.familiar pressure pressurized my lill head.and it got screwed up.but I don’t blame anyone now.i have taken control of my fateful gd-given life after that.
And now that am passing some very good times of my life in every aspect,suddeny one fine morning I find myself just six-days away from my versity exams.am blank now.a blank identity.a blank circle of many-a-day’s unused grey matters.of all the things I miss,I miss my brain the most.
That fine morning is today,fatefully.
And so,I decided to sign off in style.and so,here I am.goin to be away from blogosphere for some days.to get my expectation-breaking streak give some new shines,ofcourse in a positive way.
and so,this goes my last tribute to this ethereal existence befre I go.
Adious buddies around..